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Looking to his phone Fred shot up out of his hotel bed. It was 10:45 a.m. and the slamming of doors and muffled conversations from the hallway reminded Fred that housekeeping was due to hassle him out of the room. With a little more than a glance out his high-rise window at the streaming sun over the beautiful Lake Tahoe, Fred brushed his teeth, shaved and threw all his belongings back into his pack before heading to the elevator. As his finger pressed the Lobby button his phone chirped. Looking to the screen he saw it was another message from Angela. This time he actually opened it immediately. He read the message while he weaved his was through the hotel reception and lounge, making his way to the parking garage.
10:51 a.m.
From: Angela Frey
To: Fredrick Mudi
Hey there Fritz, I know I came off like a bitch last night but let's be fair, you've been a real dick by leaving me to worry like that. So with that stated, I'm done griping.
I wanted to send you something that might help you with your "quest". About a year ago you met an author on a train who signed and gave his book to you. You said he was part of that real story about "The men who stare at goats", you said he was a super soldier and helped the Marines/Army train in super-secret psychological operations and warfare. Well, that book has been in my bathroom for ages and I forgot all about it till this morning. On a whim I picked it up and started flipping through pages randomly. When the pages stopped, I read the words and couldn't help but think of you and your struggle. It made me rethink my words to you. I'm transcribing it for you now:
10:54 a.m.
From: Angela Frey
To: Fredrick Mudi
Chapter 10: Mana Personality. Written by Dick Miller
"The salamander bathes in the hot center of three fires and then retires into his burrow. When he is killed, he bleeds to death but his blood is a great medicine. It is probable that the three fires represent three distinct initiations by fire for the perfecting of the three components of man. - Mind, Emotions, and Purity. If solutio corresponds with water, coagulatio with earth, and sublimatio with air, calcinatio completes the elemental quartnity being attributed to fire. M.L. vonFranz interprets the salamander as prima materia, roasting in the fiery emotional reactions involved in the process of withdrawing projections.
Fire symbolizes libido, or psychic energy. It may come from sexuality. The three trials-by-fire are an image to express three stages in the transformation of consciousness 1.) autoerotic, 2.) personal-power seeking, and 3.) refined transpersonal consciousness. We can survive the ordeal of fire if we refine our search for our higher Self, rather than remain motivated solely by the ego. For you to be psychically "invulnerable" to the fire, means you have become immune to your former tendency to identify with your emotional reactions or those of others.
There is a basic exercise in psychosynthesis which allows you to systematically disidentify from your body, emotions, mind, and contents of consciousness (Frisk anyone? -Angela). You affirm that you value each of these, then recognize and affirm that you are a center of pure self consciousness, a center of will. This expansion of awareness leads to embracing a new expanded identity. One sacrifice to the fire is the co-dependant tendency to become over-invested in the emotional weather of others. You are no longer caught up in their acting out, caught up by their drama and intense affect.
Ideally this expansion is leading you toward peak experiences, self-actualization and cosmic consciousness. But you inhabit a purgatory of insecurity and disequilibrium as your old world view transmutes into the new. You need freedom to experiment with new modes of awareness and being. The salamander hastens to his burrow after refining. In much the same way, creative lifestyle changes incubate quietly within, then suddenly comes the illumination or creative idea. In between, others may mistake your appropriate introversion for depression (metaphorical dying and bleeding; emotional death... all emotions run out).
Once you synthesize your new viewpoint on reality, you discover a new sense of well-being and contentment. You can expect many rounds of this same process in life's perpetually changing circumstances. You break out of the old world view, go through the birth canal and regenerate in a new dimension of awareness. You have a new self image and many new potentials in life. Each time you go through the cycle you gain awareness and maturity. "
- Lots more in the book. Just wanted to motivate you Fred. Drive safe and stay determined! See you soon! xxx ooo - Angie.
10:51 a.m.
From: Angela Frey
To: Fredrick Mudi
Hey there Fritz, I know I came off like a bitch last night but let's be fair, you've been a real dick by leaving me to worry like that. So with that stated, I'm done griping.
I wanted to send you something that might help you with your "quest". About a year ago you met an author on a train who signed and gave his book to you. You said he was part of that real story about "The men who stare at goats", you said he was a super soldier and helped the Marines/Army train in super-secret psychological operations and warfare. Well, that book has been in my bathroom for ages and I forgot all about it till this morning. On a whim I picked it up and started flipping through pages randomly. When the pages stopped, I read the words and couldn't help but think of you and your struggle. It made me rethink my words to you. I'm transcribing it for you now:
10:54 a.m.
From: Angela Frey
To: Fredrick Mudi
Chapter 10: Mana Personality. Written by Dick Miller
"The salamander bathes in the hot center of three fires and then retires into his burrow. When he is killed, he bleeds to death but his blood is a great medicine. It is probable that the three fires represent three distinct initiations by fire for the perfecting of the three components of man. - Mind, Emotions, and Purity. If solutio corresponds with water, coagulatio with earth, and sublimatio with air, calcinatio completes the elemental quartnity being attributed to fire. M.L. vonFranz interprets the salamander as prima materia, roasting in the fiery emotional reactions involved in the process of withdrawing projections.
Fire symbolizes libido, or psychic energy. It may come from sexuality. The three trials-by-fire are an image to express three stages in the transformation of consciousness 1.) autoerotic, 2.) personal-power seeking, and 3.) refined transpersonal consciousness. We can survive the ordeal of fire if we refine our search for our higher Self, rather than remain motivated solely by the ego. For you to be psychically "invulnerable" to the fire, means you have become immune to your former tendency to identify with your emotional reactions or those of others.
There is a basic exercise in psychosynthesis which allows you to systematically disidentify from your body, emotions, mind, and contents of consciousness (Frisk anyone? -Angela). You affirm that you value each of these, then recognize and affirm that you are a center of pure self consciousness, a center of will. This expansion of awareness leads to embracing a new expanded identity. One sacrifice to the fire is the co-dependant tendency to become over-invested in the emotional weather of others. You are no longer caught up in their acting out, caught up by their drama and intense affect.
Ideally this expansion is leading you toward peak experiences, self-actualization and cosmic consciousness. But you inhabit a purgatory of insecurity and disequilibrium as your old world view transmutes into the new. You need freedom to experiment with new modes of awareness and being. The salamander hastens to his burrow after refining. In much the same way, creative lifestyle changes incubate quietly within, then suddenly comes the illumination or creative idea. In between, others may mistake your appropriate introversion for depression (metaphorical dying and bleeding; emotional death... all emotions run out).
Once you synthesize your new viewpoint on reality, you discover a new sense of well-being and contentment. You can expect many rounds of this same process in life's perpetually changing circumstances. You break out of the old world view, go through the birth canal and regenerate in a new dimension of awareness. You have a new self image and many new potentials in life. Each time you go through the cycle you gain awareness and maturity. "
- Lots more in the book. Just wanted to motivate you Fred. Drive safe and stay determined! See you soon! xxx ooo - Angie.
